Reflections of a "supposed former infatuation junkie" Alanis Morissette
in her own words:

THE ALBUM TITLE:

In the past when I felt infatuated with someone I wanted to pass through that phase, no skip over it entirely because I felt out of control and overwhelmed... releationships equates confusion and pain to me... upon realizing why relationships exist and understanding myself more, I can now enjoy the eheart palpatating phase of infatuation once again...

THE SONGS:

front row: a stream of consciousness recounting of three separate conersations with people on situations that inspired me in some way. the chorus allows me to express how privileged I feel to be eable to be intimate with these people to provide an environment for them in which they can feel safe... where i can see all parts of them without judgment.

thank u: first song written with glen for the record... after haing stooopped for what felt like the first time in my life and experiencing a deep stillness, I was left with an oerwhelming sense of gratitude, inspiration and compassion... It felt natural for this to be the first song release as it encapsulates the heart space from which all the songs on this record sprung.

are you still mad: on JLP, I viscerally reacted to certain people/situations that resulted in a cathartic release... on this song I allow myself the emotional reaction (which I think is important) while also taking responsibility for my role in the relationships which resulted in a sense of closure that had not been realized by my simply reacting or solely pointing the finger.

baba: my direct experiences with spiritual materialism within certain communities (particularly in the west) and the idealism of eastern/exotic spiritual practices... sensing the dissonance between the competition, elitism, and judgment within some of these culturally adopted rituals/gods and compassion itself.

sympathetic character: I needed to get to the root of why I was so afraid of conflict and being around anger. We live in a society that sees rage as something that is to be repressed or something that is explosive and destructive...we arent' taught how to express our ragae, having it be heard and released in a non-destructive way. this song was my recounting my fears of having spent a lot of time around people that couldn't contain (their rage). The writing of this song enabled me to be able to see rage as natural and not to fear my own.

that i would be good: I was meditating in my closet and i asked myself "what do you want?"

the couch: this song was written following a conversation I had with my dad regarding his life story. I was able to see him for who he was (outside of his role as my father) for what felt like the first time. It was very healing for both of us.

cant not: this song was written in 1995 after I had started touring for JLP and it reflects some of what my mindset was at the time. It was originally being recorded as a b-side but once it was realised I wanted it on the record.

ur: a brief and retrospective lok at my "career" in chronological order. the first verse being about when I was 10 years old. the second verse about my mid-teens. the thihrd verse being about the time right after JLP tour. parts of the choruses are other people's perspectives and parts of mine.

I was hoping: the choruses in this song are about my having been excited with the newly discovered opportunity that I saw - the relationship i was in - and what it was providing for the both of us. I had never understood the healing quality of safety and intimacy, or the consciousness that was required of me to be in that kind of relationship until that point. The verses are my recounting three separate conversations/experiences.

one: I was safe enough with this person to show him parts of myself that I needed to express in order to change them. I hadnt' been able to do so in the past because those parts of myself would have been judged. In being judged I would not have been able tomove through them. I also explore and understand the concept of our interconnectedness.

would not come: revelations based on what happened in the past three years in particular. fame, money "status" ... constantly feeling that I had to look outside of myself to see who I was and to feel bliss. Haing to "achieve", run, grasp, or "become" something other than what I was in order to be worthy/accepted. putting it down on paper made me realize the disservice I was doing to my true self and how transparent and unfulfilling it can be to put all my happiness in the hands of external brass rings.

unsent: this song started with my writing the first verse and realizing that there were many more people with whom I hadn't had closure... romantic, platonic, and professional relationships. some of the namaes are nicknamaes, some of them are variations on their names, and some of them are their real names... I talked to some of the people that inspired the verses and came to realize that this song encouraged me to connect with these people directly and not rely on songwriting as a way of my avoiding direct/difficult contact.

so pure: both the expression of anger and the expression of joy have been equally vulnerable for me at different times in my life. I allowed myself to be inspired and infatuated with this person who is unapologetically and exuberantly themself.

joining you: my reaching out to a friend who was questioning his own suffering by my saying that what we are within can manifest itself externally rather than allowing society's illusions to define who we are.

heart of the house: my tribute to my mother and to femininity in general. I thought in order to function in what I saw as a patriarchal society I had to adopt masculine qualities in order to be treated with the respect I deserved. IN Doing so I was unwittingly being chauvinistic myself and further confirming the lack of integrating both the feminine and dmasculine qualities in all of us. Upon finding the gray area I naturally w antetd to honor my relationship with my mother and with femininity itself.

your congratulations: feeling for so long that I had to compromise/downplay my power, intelligence, or talent in order not to threaten and lose the affection of those that I LOVED> There being this underlying belief that somehow both people couldn't share the power, that one person had to win and that the other had to "lose". My wanting for it to hae been possible for both people to "win". with b eeing in the public eye since I was young, those that were close to me often felt as though I was being inundated with praise from so many people that they (the people I was closest to) themselves stopped giving it...

THE PRESSURE QUESTION: I see every recording I've done as a snapshot of that time in my life. I feel fulfilled when I feel the songs were inspired and representative of myself in the moment. In taking the valuable time off that I did, it allowed me the freedom to write from a place of love and inspiration (even if it was about pain or confusiono) rather than a piece of impatience or fear. I consider my records to be "successful" the moment they're finished and I had/have no expectations for them.

 

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