Under Rug Swept - 21 Things I Want in a Lover
- Narcissus
- Hands Clean
- Flinch
- So Unsexy
- Precious Illusions
- That Particular Time
- A Man
- You Owe Me Nothing In Return
- Surrendering
- Utopia
Не вошедшие в альбом 21 Things I Want in a Lover do you derive joy when someone else succeeds? do you not play dirty when engaged in competition? do you have a big intellectual capacity but know that it alone does not equate wisdom? do you see everything as an illusion? but enjoy it even though you are not of it? are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware? and don't believe in capital punishment?
these are 21 things that I want in a lover not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny? а la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?
these are 21 things that I want in a lover not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter these are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo there are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow
are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week? up for being experimental? are you athletic? are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?
...curious and communicative... к списку » Narcissus Dear momma's boy I know you've had your butt licked by your mother I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her And every woman graced with your presence after Dear narcissus boy I know you've never really apologized for anything I know you've never really taken responsibility I know you've never really listened to a woman
Dear me-show boy I know you're not really into conflict resolution Or seeing both sides of every equation Or having an uninterrupted conversation
And any talk of healthiness And any talk of connectedness And any talk of resolving this Leaves you running for the door
(why why do I try to love you Try to love you when you really don't want me To)
Dear egotist boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes You'd never understand anyone showing resistance Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting everything so easily A stranger to the concept of reciprocity People honor boys like you in this society
And any talk of selflessness And any talk of working at this And any talk of being of service Leaves you running for the door
(why why do I try to help you try to help you When you really don't want me to)
You go back to the women who will dance the dance You go back to your friends who will lick your ass You go back to ignoring all the rest of us You go back to the center of your universe
Dear self centered boy I don't know why I still feel affected by you I've never lasted very long with someone like you I never did although I have to admit I wanted to Dear magnetic boy you've never been with anyone who doesn't take your shit You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it
And any talk of willingness And any talk of both feet in And any talk of commitment Leaves you running for the door
(why why do I try to change you try to Try to change you when you really don't Want me to)
You go back to the women who will dance the dance You go back to your friends who will lick your ass You go back to being so oblivious You go back to the center of the universe к списку » Hands Clean If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much
Ooh this could be messy But you don't seem to mind Ooh don't go telling everybody And overlook this supposed crime
We'll fast forward to a few years later And no one knows except the both of us And I have honored your request for silence And you've washed your hands clean of this
You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me You're kind of my protйgй and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it
Ooh this could get messy But you don't seem to mind Ooh don't go telling everybody And overlook this supposed crime
We'll fast forward to a few years later And no one knows except the both of us And I have honored your request for silence And you've washed your hands clean of this
what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept? what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget? what with this distance it seems so obvious?
Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body
Ooh this could be messy and Ooh I don't seem to mind Ooh don't go telling everybody And overlook this supposed crime /перевод/ к списку » Flinch What's it been over a decade? It still smarts like it was four minutes ago We only influenced each other totally We only bruised each other even more so
What are you my blood? You touch me like you are my blood What are you my dad? You affect me like you are my dad
How long can a girl be shackled to you How long before my dignity is reclaimed How long can a girl stay haunted by you Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
Where've you been? I heard you moved to my city My brother saw you somewhere downtown I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again
What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin
How long can a girl be tortured by you? How long before my dignity is reclaimed And how long can a girl be haunted by you Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
So here I am one room away from where I know you're standing A well-intentioned man told me you just walked in This man knows not of how this information has affected me But he knows the colour of the car I just drove away in
What are you my kin? You touch me like you are my kin What are you my air? You affect me like you are my air к списку » So Unsexy Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly One small sideways look and I feel so ungood Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make Me feel the way I thought only my father could
Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind
Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated
When will you stop leaving baby? When will I stop deserting baby? When will I start staying with myself?
Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me I jump my ship as I take it personally Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly The moment I decide not to abandon me к списку » Precious Illusions you'll rescue me right? in the exact same way they never did.. I'll be happy right? when your healing powers kick in
you'll complete me right? then my life can finally begin I'll be worthy right? only when you realize the gem I am?
but this won't work now the way it once did and I won't keep it up even though I would love to once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am but I know I won't keep on playing the victim
these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was defenseless and parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends
this ring will me yet as will you knight in shining armor this pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water
but this won't work as well as the way it once did cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss and though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am but I know I won't keep on playing the victim
these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid and parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend
I've spent so long firmly looking outside me I've spent so much time living in survival mode
/перевод/ к списку » That Particular Time my foundation was rocked my tried and true way to deal was to vanish my departures were old I stood in the room shaking in my boots at that particular time love had challenged me to stay at that particular moment I knew not run away again that particular month I was ready to investigate with you at that particular time
we thought a break would be good for four months we sat and vacillated we thought a small time apart would clear up the doubts that were abounding at that particular time love encouraged me to wait at that particular moment it helped me to be patient that particular month we needed time to marinate in what "us" meant
I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself and yet I wanted to save us high water or hell and I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt and in the meantime I lost myself in the meantime I lost myself I'm sorry I lost myself….i am
you knew you needed more time time spent alone with no distraction you felt you needed to fly solo and high to define what you wanted at that particular love encouraged me to leave at that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me that particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left at that particular time к списку » A Man I am a man as a man I've been told Bacon is brought to the house in this mold Born of your bellies I yearn for the cord Years I have groveled repentance ignored
And I have been blamed And I have repented I'm working my way toward our union mended
I am man who has grown from a son Been crucified by enraged women I am son who was raised by such men I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among
And I have been shamed And I have relented I'm working my way toward our union mended And I have been shamed And I have repented I'm working my way toward our union mended
we don't fare well with endless reprimands we don't do well with a life served as a sentence this won't work well if you're hell bent on your offence I am a man who understands your resistance
I am a man who still does what he can to dispel our archaic reputation
I am a man who has heard all he can cuz I don't fare well with endless punishment
Cuz I have been blamed and I have repented I'm working my way toward our union mended And we have been blamed and we have repented I'm working my way toward our union mended к списку » You owe me nothing in return I'll give you careless amounts of out right acceptance if you want it. I will give you encouragment to choose the path you want if you need it. You can speak of anger and doubts, your fears and freak-outs and I'll hold it. You can share your so-called "shamefilled" accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it. And there are no strings attached [to it]. You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give you. You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have. I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege, and you owe me nothing in return. You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it. You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it. You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it. You can ask for anything you want, anything at all and I'll understand it. And there are no strings attached (to it). You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give. You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have. I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege, and you owe me nothing in return. I bet you're wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop. I bet you're wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up. I bet you're wondering how far you have now dancИd your way back into debt. This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is. You can express your deepest of thruths even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it. You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss, I'll empathize with. You can say that you'll have to skip town to chase your passion and I'll hear it. You can leave and hit rock bottom have a mid-life chrisis and I'll hold it. And there are no strings attached (to it). You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give. You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have. I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege, and you owe me nothing in return. You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give. You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have. I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege, and you owe me nothing in return. /перевод/ к списку » Surrendering you were full and fully capable you were self sufficient and needless your house was fully decorated in that sense
you were taken with me to a point a case of careful what you wish for but what you knew was enough to begin
and so you called and courted fiercely so you rached out, entirely fearless and yet you knew of reservation and how it serves
and I salute you for your courage and I applaud your perseverance and I embrace you for your faith in the face of adversarial forces that I represent
so you were in but not entirely you were up for this but not totally you knew how arms length-ing can maintain doubt
and so you fell and you're intact so you dove in and you're still breathing so you jumped and you're still flying if not shocked
and I support you in your trusting and I commend you for your wisdom and I'm amazed by your surrender in the face of threatening forces that I represent
you found creative ways to distance you hid away from much through humor your choice of armor was your intellect
and so you felt and you're still here and so you died and you're still standing and so you softened and you're still safely in command
self protection was in times of true danger your best defense to mistrust and be wary surrendering a feat of unequalled measure and I'm thrilled to let you in overjoyed to be let in in kind к списку » Utopia we'd gather around all in a room fasten our belts engage in dialogue we'd all slow down rest without guilt not lie without fear disagree sans judgement
we would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and open and reach out and speak up
This is utopia this is my utopia This is my ideal my end in sight Utopia this is my utopia This is my nirvana My ultimate
we'd open our arms we'd all jump in we'd all coast down into safety nets
we would share and listen and support and welcome be propelled by passion not invest in outcomes we would breathe and be charmed and amused by difference be gentle and make room for every emotion
we'd provide forums we'd all speak out we'd all be heard we'd all feel seen
we'd rise post-obstacle more defined more grateful we would heal be humbled and be unstoppable we'd hold close and let go and know when to do which we'd release and disarm and stand up and feel safe
this is utopia this is my utopia this is my ideal my end in sight utopia this is my utopia this is my nirvana my ultimate
/перевод/ к списку » Fear of Bliss my misery has enjoyed company # and although I have ached I don't threaten anybody sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you sometimes I wonder why I quell when I'm not required to
I've tried to be small I've tried to be stunted I've tried roadblocks and all my happy endings prevented
sometimes I feel it's all just too big to be true I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do
fear of bliss and fear of joyitude fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?)
I could be golden I could be glowing I could be freedom but that could be boring
sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true I sabotage myself for fear of losing you
this talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone
I could be full I could be thriving I could be shining sounds isolating
sometimes I feel this is too good to be true I sabotage myself for fear of what my joy could do к списку » Sister Blister you and me we're cut from the same cloth it seems to some we famously get along but you and me are strangers to each other cuz you and me:competitive to the bone
such tragedy to trample on each other with how much we've endured with the state this land is in
you and me feel joined by only gender we are not all for one and one for all
sister blister we fight to please the brothers we think their acceptance is how we win they're happy we're climbing over each other to beg the club of boys to let us in
you and me estranged from the mother you and me have felt impotent in our skin you and me have taken it out on each other you and me disloyal to the feminine
such a pity to disavow each other with how far we've come with how strong we've been
you and me are on this pendulum together you and me with scarcity still fueling
sister blister we fight to please the brothers we think their acceptance is how we win they're happy we're climbing over each other to beg the club of boys to let us in
we may not have priorities same we may not even like each other we may not be hugely anti-men but such a cost to dishonor a sister
you and me have made it harder for the other we forget how hard separatism has been you and me we can help change their minds together you and me in alignment until the end
sister blister we fight to please the brothers we think their acceptance is how we win they're happy we're climbing over each other to beg the club of boys to let us in /перевод/ к списку » Bent 4 U you're unsure and you're not ready so that must mean I want you you're unavailable and disinterested and to you I look for comfort
a million times in a million ways I will try to change you a million months and a million days I'll try to somehow convince you
I have waited for you and adjusted for you and I'm done I have deferred to you and enabled you and I'm done
you're too young or you're too old or you're simply not inclined you're asleep or you're withholding be that my cue to crave you
several times in several ways I'll try to squeeze love from you several hours and several ways I'll feast on scraps thrown from you
I have bent for you and I've deprived for you and I'm done I have depressed for you and contorted for you and I'm done I have stifled for you and I've compromised for you and I'm done I have silenced for you and sacrificed for you and I'm done
it won't be long before I am reclaimed it won't take long and I'll be on path again it won't be easy for us to disengage I'm at the end of self deprivation stage
you're afraid of every woman afraid of your inner workings you cringe at the thought of living under the same roof as me god and everything
a million times and a million ways I've tried to alter to match you several times every several days I've tried to uncrush on you к списку » Awakening Americans
We watch movies of murder and we censor the breast Give thanks for the murders of Chris Columbus We kill our own and we vote for the men The lesser of evils and us starring in the role of victim I wonder how we change if we can in this land I wonder how many mountains we'd move if we bent together Us priveleged Americans We pass our revisions onto the next generation We kneel to the Gods of corporation We eat when we're full and we hoard all the rest With our hands on remotes we say "Yes, We're the best" I wonder what we change in this land, cause we can Even with western centricity this rampant Us ugly Americans Tired are not my hands But see strangers and enemies as part of me, is real. For me this awakening Canadian We teach our offspring for themselves, every man We shrug our shoulders and create yet another -ism We dissuade our young from using their imagination We avert our eyes from this our very own manifestation I wonder what will change in this land, cause we can I wonder how many mouths we'd fill if we band together Us awakening Americans /перевод/ к списку » Unprodigal Daughter
I had disengaged to avoid being totaled I would run away and say good riddance soon enough I had grown disgusted by your small-minded ceiling To imagining myself bolting had not been difficult Soon be my life Soon be my pace Soon be my choice of which you'll have no part of CHORUS: Unprodigal Daughter and I'm heading for the west Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last! I'd invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed I hit the ground running although I know not what toward I hit the town reeling forgetting all that came before I felt primed and ready unsurrounded by the pawns I felt culture shocked, but dissuaded, I was not This is my town This is my voice This is my taste of what you've have no part of CHORUS One day I'll saddle back and speak foreign adventures One day I'll double back and tell you about these unfettered years One day I'll look back and feel something other than relieved Glad that I left when I did before your dear, you can't got the best of me When I'd speak of artistry you would roll your eyes skyward When I'd speak of spirituality you label me absurd When I spoke of impossibility you would frown and shake your head If I had stayed much longer I'd have surely imploded These are my words This is my house These are my friends of which you've had no part of CHORUS(2x) к списку » Sorry To Myself
for hearing all my doubts so selectively for continuing my numbing relentlessly for helping you and myself, not even considering for beating myself up and over functioning to whom do I owe the biggest apology? no one's been crueler than I've been to me for letting you decide if I indeed was desirable for myself love being so embarrassingly conditional for denying myself to somehow make us compatible for trying to fit a rectangle into a hole to whom do I owe the biggest apology? no one's been crueler than I've been to me CHORUS I'm sorry to myself my apologies begin here before everybody else I'm sorry to myself for treating me worse than I would anybody else for blaming myself for your unhappiness for my impatience when I was perfect where I was ignoring all the signs that I was not ready and expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be to whom do I owe the first apology? no one's been crueler than I've been to me CHORUS well, I wonder which crime is the biggest? forgetting you or forgetting myself? had I heeded the wisdom of the latter I would've naturally loved the former for ignoring you, my highest voices for smiling when my strife was all too obvious for being so disassociated from my body and for not letting go when it would-ve been the kindest thing to whom do I owe the biggest apology? no one's been crueler than I've been to me CHORUS (2x) к списку » |